


bruises and butterfly kisses

by mrspotatohead



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Bedrooms, Best Friends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Bruises, Child Abuse, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Father-Son Relationship, Feels, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Injury, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, OTP Feels, One Shot, Pain, Protectiveness, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Hatred, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 04:48:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8783767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrspotatohead/pseuds/mrspotatohead
Summary: lukas's dad is a dick and philip finds out. trigger warning for child abuse, please don't read if that triggers you!!





	

Lukas knew he'd fucked up as soon as the plate slipped through his fingers, shattering loudly against the tiled kitchen flooring.

He stared down at it for a second, his eyes wide, his head pounding as he tried to comprehend the situation. His mind began to race as he struggled to form a coherent thought, his chest tightening as he heard the sudden lurch of angry footsteps from the living room, heavy and deliberate. He'd done it now. He'd messed up.

He crouched down, trying to pick up the broken fragments of the plate, watching numbly as a massive shard sliced into his palm, crimson blood forming along the cut almost instantly. The door swung open and he flinched back, cowering against the counter behind him, trying in vain not to make eye contact as his father lumbered into the room. He had a beer clutched in one hand, and his head was titled to the side like he was trying to work out a particularly difficult math question.

"Lukas? What the fuck do you think you're doing?" His voice was scarcely more than a growl, but it bounded around the room as if he'd been screaming, powerful and strong.

"Sorry Dad, I - I just, I dropped my plate but I'm cleaning it up, alright?" He replied quickly, tripping over his words in his nervous haste. The room went silent apart from the grating, monotonous tick of the clock in the corner, the tension thickening with every passing second as the older man glared down at the younger boy, his eyes squinted as he swayed on his feet.

"Fucking hell, Lukas," His dad spat suddenly, slamming his beer down on the kitchen table with such force that it spilled over the sides, leaving a small puddle on the surface. He reached forwards, catching Lukas by the arm and pulling him to his feet, his grip so tight that a dark bruise almost immediately blossomed beneath his fingertips. He fisted the boy's shirt between his hands, pulling him close so that they were almost nose to nose, his gaze practically murderous, his eye twitching with temper. The smell of alcohol on his breath was toxic, it was putrid.

"You can't even clean a plate without fucking it up, a plate that _I_ paid for, a plate that provided you with food that I _fucking_ paid for, and you expect it to be okay just because you're 'cleaning it up'," His voice gradually got louder until he was screaming dementedly, spittle flying onto the other boy's face. Lukas ducked his head, his heart rattling in his ribcage like it was trying to escape, all of the muscles in his body tensed. He tried to stay calm, tried to remind himself that he was just being punished, that all kids got lectured sometimes, that it was okay. He was okay.

"I'm sorry, I - " He tried to apologize again, his voice a mere whisper, but he was cut off as his father drew his fist back and punched it hard into the teenagers gut. Lukas gasped in pain, feeling tears form in his eyes as he doubled over, the breath knocked out of him. He could feel his dad glaring down at him, a small smirk playing on his lips, his misty eyes twinkling with what seemed to be amusement. He'd just managed to catch a breath when the second blow came to his stomach, and even harder than the last, so overpowering that the boy crumpled to a heap on the floor, whimpering softly. He felt the small shards of the plate digging into his back, but his innards hurt so much he couldn't even move.

"I try my best for you, kid, and this is how you repay me," his dad continued, looming over the crouched body, his hands curled into fists by his side. He drew back his booted foot and kicked it harshly into his son's chest, ignoring the cries of pain that erupted from the boy as he did so. It was like he was in a trance, it was like he didn't even register what he was doing until he'd gone too far.

"Dad, please -" Lukas managed to get out, covering his head with his hands as he curled into a fetal position, trying to protect himself in any way possible. He coughed harshly, wincing at the pain that shot through his torso, too afraid to even look up at his Dad, who was breathing heavily, still frowning down at him, looking like a ticking time bomb. Anything could set him off again, anything could drive him insane.

"If you don't get out of this house in the next ten seconds, Lukas, I swear to god you won't live to see the morning," He uttered, his voice so dangerously low that it sent a shiver of white hot fear down the other boy's spine, knowing that it was hardly an empty threat. His Dad thundered out of the room, grabbing the beer off the counter as he did so, muttering under his breath about disrespect and clumsiness and disappointments.

He pulled himself up slowly, trying to measure the amount of damage that had been done. His ribs felt like they could be cracked, and when he pulled up his shirt slowly, reluctantly, his stomach was a patchwork quilt of dark violet bruises. He felt tears press against the backs of his eyes, warm and salty, but he ignored them as he stood up gently, picking up the last of the broken plate as he did so.

He stared blankly at the small pool of beer on the table, his heart still stuttering in his chest, before he grabbed his coat and slammed out of the house, ignoring the way his body groaned with pain as he did so.

The wind outside was glacial and it whipped at his cheeks as he stormed haphazardly down the street, looking up at the intense sunset in the sky, his hands buried deep in his pockets. The stars were just beginning to appear in the ether and the clouds were fluffy and white, reflecting the orange hues of the disappearing sun beautifully. Lukas barely noticed, his mind still spinning, his body aching. He didn't even realize where he was headed until he was half way there. 

Philip's house was quiet and still when he first arrived, and for one fearful second Lukas thought that maybe they weren't home. He knocked cautiously on the front door anyway, letting the sinking feeling of desperation almost consume him, but not quite. They had to be home, because he had nowhere else to go - it was as simple as that. He heard footsteps, soft and slow, and then he was met with Helen's smiling, kind face.

"Oh, hey Lukas. You here for Philip?" She asked, her mouth quirked up inquiringly. He froze for a second, at her normalcy, at how nice she was, and then nodded when he realized he hadn't answered her. She frowned at him for a moment, the cheerful look in her eyes flickering, before she smiled once more and opened the door wider to let him inside.

"He's in his room, just go on up," She informed him, pointing towards the stairs and then heading back into the living room to settle next to Gabe on the sofa. Lukas watched for a moment when she rested her head on her husband's shoulder as they watched TV, the fireplace blaring with warmth in the corner. Something about the sight made his heart squeeze oddly in his chest.

He didn't bother knocking on Philip's bedroom door, rather he just walked in with a cheeky smirk and a playful but forced laugh, trying to keep up some kind of bravado. He found the other boy lounging on his bed, music blasting through his headphones, tuned out of the world. Lukas watched him for a second, taking in his tousled hair and toned arms, before he reached down and pulled out the headphones, still grinning lopsidedly.

"Dude! Not cool, man!" Philip protested, sitting up on his bed, though a weak smile had already made its way to his face. He sat down next to the other boy on the bed, resting his back against the bedroom wall, ignoring the shooting pains that had started up in his abdomen and the persistent twinges of pain in his chest.

"Sorry, sorry," He finally relented, only a note of sarcasm in his tone. His friend just laughed, showing off his even white teeth, a coy look on his face. He felt a hand grab at his, and he looked down to see Philip's fingers interwoven with his own, warm and gentle.

"What're you doing here? You didn't even text to tell me you were coming," He asked curiously, moving closer towards Lukas on the bed, closing the gap between them. It was quiet for a moment, and then the other boy just grinned again, that familiar, cocky grin that Philip knew all too well.

"What? You're not happy to see me?" He teased, leaning in so close that they could feel each other's warm breath on their faces, and they both chuckled softly, caught up in each other's gaze. Lukas moved in first, closing his eyes and pressing his lips against the other boy's, letting the warmth and the passion of it all bring him back to life. Philip kissed back hungrily, and soon they were lying back on the bed, furiously making out through flirtatious whispers and desperate panting. 

Lukas was on top of Philip, straddling him, kissing roughly at his neck when he felt hands snake up his shirt and grab at the hem of it, trying to pull it off. He stopped abruptly, trying to focus for a moment, slapping away at the hands in protest when he realized fully why he couldn't take his shirt off, when he realized why he was even there in the first place. A river of emotion threatened to cascade over him, but he held it back, shutting his eyes momentarily. He could do this. He could play it off.

"What's the matter?" Philip's voice was low and crackly, but it seeped with barely concealed concern. Lukas shook his head, trying to form the words that he knew he needed, but couldn't quite manage to get out. He felt like something was choking him from the inside, something poisonous and rotten.

"Nothing - I just, look, can I keep my shirt on?" He asked, trying to sound casual even though he knew his hands had started shaking slightly and his voice kept quivering painfully. The other boy cocked his head to the side, chunks of dark curls falling into his eyes, his lips pursed in question. 

"Don't tell me _you're_ self conscious, all of a sudden?" He quipped, laughing as he said it, and Lukas tried to laugh along, though it came out stunted and strangled.

"No, but, I'd just feel more comfortable keeping it on, um," He stuttered, inwardly cursing himself, "if that's okay?"

"Sure, that's okay," The other boy replied, though the smile had been wiped off his face and he was studying Lukas closely, carefully, as if he was trying to memorize his face forever. He beamed in relief and leaned back in, about to pick up where they left off, but Philip reeled back, his brow furrowed as he continued to look right at the other boy, trying to work him out.

"Why'd you lie to me?" He mumbled, bringing his hand up to caress Lukas's cheek tenderly. The other boy frowned, looking down at his lover in the soft glow of the lamp, confusion and hurt mingling in his chest.

"I didn't," He replied, trying to disguise the way his voice broke over the words.

"I asked what was the matter and you said _nothing,_ like I'm stupid or something," Philip explained, and Lukas sighed and let his head drop, feeling the anxiety begin to numb him from the inside. He didn't want to lie to the only person that really cared about him, but he knew he had no choice. He knew he was trapped and that he always, _always_ would be.

"Nothing's wrong babe, I promise," He muttered easily, leaning back in for another kiss, which was accepted even though Lukas knew Philip was less than happy about what had just happened, knew by the wounded look in his eyes and the sudden lack of enthusiasm in his kisses.

He finally, mercilessly, felt his mind going blank and the pain begin to fade as he became consumed in the situation, getting more and more excited as he peppered soft kisses down Philip's upper body, starting at his neck and ending at his lower stomach, both boys flushed with infatuation. His hands were fumbling clumsily with Philip's belt when he suddenly groaned out in discomfort, his hands flying to cup his stomach as he squeezed his eyes shut. Sharp flashes of pain had begun stabbing at him, unrelenting, much worse than before, enough to bring tears to his eyes once again. 

"What? Fuck, what is it?" Philip sat up quickly, panic flashing in his eyes as he took in the sight of the other boy doubled over on his bed, almost hyperventilating, as if no amount of oxygen could calm him down.

"Nothing, I - Just don't feel too good - " Lukas breathed, trying to diffuse the situation as he turned over so he was lying on his back, still clutching his abdomen, his face pale and gleaming with sweat in the low lighting. He felt those familiar hands reaching at his shirt again, but he pushed them away forcefully, the trepidation setting in once more.

"Let me see," His soft voice soothed, though there was hints of anguish in it, too.

"It's fine, leave it," He argued back, gritting his teeth against another wave of agony, wondering if his Dad had really done irreparable damage this time. He was so tired that he couldn't find it in himself to care, though he knew he'd be dead if anyone found out about it. 

"Please, Lukas," He begged, keeping his tone smooth, though his glare was alight with understanding and pain. He shook his head, trying to sit up, only to feel Philip tug impatiently at the hem of his shirt one final time, so it rode right up, revealing the dark, throbbing bruises that lay underneath. They'd only gotten worse since he'd left his house, and he was almost too scared to look down at them, too scared to see what had happened to his own body.

The room suddenly felt small and suffocating, and it was deathly silent as the two boys just stared down at the injuries, both at a loss for words.

"What the fuck?" Philip finally got out, sounding like he was on the verge of tears as his fingertips very gently traced the edges of the biggest, ugliest bruise. It didn't hurt, but Lukas hated the way the other boy was looking at them, like it was the end of the world. Like Armageddon had started right there, in his bedroom.

"Fell off my bike, you know what I'm like," He tried after he recovered his voice, sitting up slowly so he could attempt to face the other boy properly. He looked down at the bed covers once he realized he couldn't find it in himself to make eye contact, picking at a loose thread, his mouth dry and his heart pummeling away in his chest.

"No you didn't," Philip responded, voice tight and low, his expression filled with an awful type of knowing.

"I did," The other insisted airily, trying to regain his composure, raking a hand through his long, blonde hair.

"Don't you fucking lie to me," He almost snapped, though Lukas could see the tears that had started to cloud the other boy's dark eyes, could see the way his jaw was clenched and the way his mouth was trembling slightly. He hated himself for doing that to the only person who cared about him. He hated himself for being so weak. He hated himself for dropping that fucking plate.  

Philip leaned forward again, but this time he just rested his forehead against the other boy's, still not letting the tears spill over.

"Just tell me who did it," He spoke lowly, carefully.

"Nobody, I'm just clumsy, you know I am," Lukas was panicking again, but he didn't back away. He just reached his hand up and wiped away the first tear that shed from Philip's eyes, not wanting to see him cry over something that didn't really matter.

"Just tell me and I'll fucking kill them, I swear to god, who did it, who hurt you, I'll fucking kill them," The other boy persisted, his eyes bloodshot and his fists balled together in anger, in frustration, in pain. Lukas shut his eyes, breathing deeply, feeling his resolution begin to dissolve. He pulled away from the other's touch, and leaned back onto the wall, bringing his knees to his chest. He moved extremely slowly, not wanting to cause himself anymore discomfort, because if there was one thing he was tired of it was being hurt.

Philip waited patiently, watching the other boy protectively with bated breath.

"I dropped a plate," He said eventually, in a tone that suggested that it explained everything. He was telling the truth, but the words tasted bitter as he said them. His vision swam lightly, overwhelmed with the situation, and he heard a distant voice in the back of his head screaming at him to shut up, telling him that telling people would mess everything up, let alone the son of the town's sheriff. He was fucking everything up, again, like he always did.

"I don't understand," His friend sounded perplexed, his teeth chewing at his bottom lip anxiously. He reached out to grab Lukas's hand, but stopped when the other boy flinched backwards, blonde hair falling over his clear, blue eyes. He reeled back quickly, surprised at the reaction, his dark, thick brows raised in shock.

"Sorry," Lukas sighed immediately, trying to calm himself down.

"You dropped a plate?" Philip asked in response, and the other boy knew that he wasn't getting out of it, no matter what. No matter how many overly confident smiles, or bad jokes, or frenzied make out sessions he tried to pull off, he wasn't going to be able to escape from this, from the bruises, from his Dad, from the questions. He pressed his back further into the wall, wishing it would swallow him whole.

"Yeah. I dropped a plate and I got lectured for it. You know?" He swallowed, nearly choking on the lump in his throat. There was a strained silence between them again, and Lukas thought he could feel the sudden surge of anger that radiated from the other boy, but when he finally gathered the courage to look at him again, Philip's face was a mess of tears and raw, unadulterated pain.

"No, not you, this can't be happening to you - _shit,_ " He whispered, voice cracking as he reached out for the injured boy and pulled him into a hug, careful not to exacerbate the bruising.

"It's okay, it's okay," Lukas reassured flatly, resting his head on the other boy's sturdy shoulders. His entire being coursed with exhaustion, and he felt unsteady and disoriented, as if he'd just stepped off a boat.

"This isn't fucking okay," Philip fought, stroking his hand through the other's blonde, soft locks.

"It is, I dropped the plate. I dropped the fucking plate because I'm clumsy and I fuck things up. He's just teaching me not to do that," He whispered, hiccuping through his words, letting a few tears leak from the corner of his eyes as he buried his face in the crook of the other boy's neck, relishing the comfort of it.

The arms around him tightened, and when Philip spoke he sounded venomous.

"I never want to hear you say something like that again, Lukas, ever," He said, pulling back and cupping the other boy's face with both of his hands, his touch as light as a butterfly's wings.

He didn't say anything else, just stared at the way the that Philip's eyes were so dark that he could barely tell where the iris ended and the pupil began. It was beautiful.

"It's okay now, you know? I've got you, I've got you. I'm never going to hurt you," He continued, tracing Lukas's lips with his hands, as if checking to see that he was still in tact.

Lukas nodded, but he still couldn't talk. Words kept dying in his throat.

"You never deserved to be hurt at all, I need you to know that," Philip whispered, his warm, minty breath tickling the other boy's face. He leaned in, and left a small kiss that was so soft and loving on Lukas's mouth that it was hard to feel anything but a gentle warmth at all.

And that night, when the two boys were sleeping together in a tangle of sweaty limbs and crumpled bed sheets, Lukas didn't have any nightmares at all, for the first time in over three years.

 

He felt safe.

**Author's Note:**

> certainly not the best my writing can be, but i love these characters and this show so so much and i love them vfbgnfhgmjhhgb
> 
> kudos and reviews mean the world to me bc i'm always so self conscious of what i post lmao!!


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